Pup Loki

The stupidest / hottest thing I’ve ever done

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December 27, 2020

This is a story, with some true bits, and some embellishment. I hope you enjoy. Please always play safe and let people know where you are and when you’re due back.

We had been corresponding online for a while and I’d finally plucked up the courage to arrange a session with him. We were in the same town, and not far from each other, but I was very inexperienced. I’d never even set foot in any kind of dungeon before and the only gear I owned was confined to some cheap white cotton rope.

He offered me a one time deal, valid for that first play date only: let yourself in, tie yourself up, don’t see him until the end.

It was a rediculous offer. I’d never met him, but the pages of hot guys tied up in the same way on his website was too much to resist. I said yes. Stupid, stupid Loki.

The day came, and I had his address. I had to let myself in at a precise time and found myself wondering the streets outside for an hour because I was early, all the time thinking both THIS IS AMAZING but also THIS IS SO STUPID. I’ve never met him, we’ve never even spoken, just messaged online, no one else knows where I am, and it’s before the days of smartphones so I can’t even be tracked. FUCK. WHAT AM I DOING?

SHITSHITSHIT. It’s time. Now or never. Decide. I find myself halfway to the door before I’ve even had time to think. Guess my dick is doing the talking now.

He’s given me the location of the front door key underneath a specific flower pot (how original), but nothing more. I find it. I glance at my watch, it clicks over to the hour exactly and I turn the key. I step inside and close the door behind me. And exhale…

I see a sheet of paper on the floor:

Welcome.
Take off all your clothes. Fold them neatly on the floor. Step into the playroom to your left and you’ll find further instructions.
Follow them exactly.

I take off everything. I suddenly feel incredibly vulnerable.

But I find I need a piss. I see the bathroom door is open down the hall. This is ok isn’t it? Is he here? Is he watching? OK, well, nervous wee time it is. As I proceed down the hall I pass the open door to the playroom, and I stop briefly to look in. It’s all dark, with a single spotlight illuminating a metal chair in the middle. It’s just as I’d hoped and my dick twitches.

I quickly use the toilet, and head back to the playroom, take a breath, and step in towards the chair. I see a pile of gear, and some more instructions:

Sit on the chair.
Cuff your feet to the chair legs.
Put in the earplugs, then the hood.
Cuff your hands behind you through the bars in the back of the chair.

The ankle cuffs are leather straps with a simple buckle and they go on easily. As I bend down to cinch them up, I notice I have a huge erection that pokes me in the stomach. Hi there. Still in charge I see.

I roll the foam earplugs up and stuff them in. Sounds are dulled, and I notice how quickly my heart is now racing.

I pull the leather hood on. It just has a mouth opening, but it smells like nothing I’ve tried before. Pure bondage. All the guys that have been in it before. It’s heaven. I fumble with the laces – I’ve never done this before – and it feels like an age to get it done all the way up. I tug on the ends of the laces and feel the hood envelop my head, the last traces of light disappear, and the remaining ambient noise shut off.

I click the handcuffs on one wrist, reach behind me and feel for the other end. I pause. This is it. Once I do this up, I’m stuck here, no going back. Click.

I sit there in the still darkness. All I can hear is my own heartbeat, and I can feel my dick twitch in time with it.

God this is so stupid. What have I done.

How long have I been here now? A minute feels like an hour.

Still I wait. My breathing is rapid in anticipation. I can’t hear anything. All I see is black. Come on…

Suddenly a hand is exploring my body and I gasp. The hand rubs my hooded head to calm me down, then moves to my dick. The gasp becomes a moan.

My leg straps are released, and the handcuffs undone, I’m pulled up out of the chair and pushed up against the cold steel scaffolding bars. I wince, but leather straps are quickly applied to keep me in place. My cock and balls are bound up with some kind of rope, which makes me extremely sensitive. I feel lube applied, and suddenly I’m in a different plane of horniness entirely.

The next few hours are a blur and no text can describe really describe them, except to say that at the end, the hood is pulled off and I see the sweaty, lubey, spunky mess of myself in the mirror. I am briefly disgusted by myself, then I look over and catch the face of my – until now – unseen captor, and he smiles.

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DIY Breathplay Manifold

Categories:

breathcontrol, Gear, Personal

August 31, 2020

IMPORTANT: Breath control is dangerous even in experienced hands, but even more so solo. NEVER use a device such as this on your own.

I haven’t posted this bit of DIY before as I’m in two minds about giving people such potentially dangerous tools, but then it’s just some bits of pipework so it’s hardly an immense secret. That said, although it’s simple, this is for people that know what they’re doing and are looking for something to make play easier and safer.

The idea of this build is to give you an idea of what I made as a framework to customise for yourself; there’s no right or wrong setup although there are some fundamentals.

The main components are half-inch PVC pipe and fittings. I’ve used:

90 degree Ts
Plain sockets (to provide a female connector for the poppers vial and for the gas mask hoses)
Ball valves

In my case everything is solvent welded together (you just wipe some gunk in the pipe, push, wait a minute, and it’s stuck forever) but you can get screw fit. The pipe can be sawn to the right length but for a couple of quid you can get cutters which make it super easy.

I’ve used grey half-inch pipe throughout but use whatever colour you like. If you’re in the UK then plasticpipeshop.co.uk will supply your needs.

As far as kink components go:

Valves

Be aware that there is a quarter turn between full on and off, so precise dialling of (eg) poppers can be tricky, but it should be ok for most needs.

Gas mask connectors

If you attach a socket (i.e. female to female) this will give you a slightly larger outside diameter which will enable you to attach a standard 40mm gas mask hose. I used the type that has a clip fitting so I could remove one end and then a stainless steel jubilee clip to tighten it on.

I actually have both a male and female end for flexibility but the male end (the one on the far left in the picture above) along with an extension is probably the one you’ll use 90% of the time to connect to another gas mask.

Poppers

For this, I have a piece of 20mm outside diameter clear, flexible, PVC tube with a small hole in the side push-fitted to a socket. The poppers then sit in a (delightfully-named) bijou bottle. Open the valve and air is drawn through. By juggling the main inlet valve and the poppers-section valve you can change the concentration.

I use a little bit of hockey tape (the kind for shins, not sticks – incidentally this is perfect for sealing vac beds too as it doesn’t damage rubber) to improve the fit of the clear tube into the socket if I need to.

Rebreather bag

The same setup as for the poppers (20mm clear PVC flexible tube) works to push fit in a regular anaesthetic bag.

Nitrous

With the same hockey tape, I’ve found a nitrous cracker fits into the inlet valve quite nicely. In hindsight I would have added a valve to the main exhaust too, so that I could close everything, fill the rebreather bag with nitrous, attach my victim and then allow it out as I wanted.

40mm to 20mm conversion

You might want to go from 40mm (gas mask) to 20mm (standard anaesthetic). You can either do this using the rebreather bag setup, or I have a converter I found somewhere once but can no longer find.

Extra caution

If you have a very long hose between the setup and gas mask, be aware of tidal volume if you are rebreathing (i.e. the lung volume matches the total volume of all the tubes and so on).

I am deliberately not covering closed-circuits as that needs CO2 absorption, valves and other stuff that’s very complex and frankly dangerous.

Visit a professional if this is your kink.

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Loki’s Lube Lab

Categories:

Gear, Personal, rubber, tutorial

August 2, 2020

This is a rehash of some existing silicone lube recipes, but with more of a focus on EU ingredient suppliers, and, well, proper units.

The end product is basically indistinguishable from the ‘Mr B Glide’ silicone lube I’ve been using for general latex donning, shine, and fun. The net cost will be over half of retail, which will be a serious saving over time.

Ingredients (all are cosmetic grade):

Dimethicone 1000:
https://www.gracefruit.com/item/747/Gracefruit/Dimethicone-1000.html
https://www.thesoapkitchen.co.uk/dimethicone-1000cs-dim1000cs

Cyclomethicone:
https://www.gracefruit.com/item/98/Gracefruit/Cyclomethicone.html

Phenyl Trimethicone [sorry, this is a US supplier but you don’t need much]:
https://lotioncrafter.com/products/lc1550-phenyl-trimethicone

Volumes needed for approx 1.5 litres:

1L Dimethicone 1000
0.6L Cyclomethicone
25mL (a shot glass) Trimethicone

Directions:

Combine all of the above into a clean bucket and mix really throughly. You can use a whisk, spoon, immersion blender, or paint mixing paddle on a drill, just as long as it’s spotlessly clean.

Any ‘haze’ from incorporated air bubbles will dissipate.

You can tweak the amount of cyclomethicone up or down to make it thinner or thicker as you prefer.

You can then decant into a fliptop bottle, pump dispenser, or an old lube bottle. Done!

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Image Dump

Categories:

Boys, breathcontrol, Images, Personal, Piss, rubber, Twitter

June 19, 2020

I’m sorry, I’ve not been keeping up the blog with new images as I post them on twitter, so here’s a big load of them all in one place ^_^

I’d just bought a bondage chair from a friend…

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Fantastic Rubber

Categories:

Boys, dolly, Gear, Girls, Images, Personal, rubber

April 16, 2020

IMPORTANT: I can no longer recommend FR due to their owner’s apparent affiliation with a far right party.

I’d been lusting after a Fantastic Rubber catsuit for a long time. They look great, and their pattern making ability is legendary. Ideally I’d have gone to their workshops just outside of Berlin, but I wasn’t going to go anytime soon for an event so it would have been an additional cost on top of a suit that isn’t all that cheap to begin with.

Their suits are all made to measure, that’s “included” in the pricing (and the more you buy per year the greater the discount) so you have to fill out a complicated form (in German) and send photos of yourself if you’re doing self-measuring – although it’ll need another person. A somewhat nerve wracking process and it’s an expensive mistake – measure several times and watch their videos to get it right!

The end result is probably the most perfectly fitting suit I own now – STR off the shelf sizes are pretty close and more accessible in pricing, but for the Boob Suit there was only the one option.

FR were really good at helping choose the silicone boob sizes (I mean, you can go to insane sizes but I wanted something more in keeping) and the order update process was fantastic. You got a constant tick down of the numbers in front, and the stage your suit was in manufacturing. All told it was about a 3 month wait.

Getting the suit on is “interesting”. I’ve owned neck entry suits before (and FR only do neck entry) but I went for a 0.2mm thin gauge of latex, and as it’s expensive the donning and removal process is stressful: no sharp nails, no rings, no piercings. There’s also a special pocket for the boobs, and a halter that you pull over your neck once you’re in, so instructions are needed!

It isn’t a spur of the moment play item, nor is it for heavy play, but it looks amazing.

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The Transformation Machine

Categories:

Boys, breathcontrol, dolly, Gear, Girls, Machines, rubber, video

April 11, 2020

To celebrate the coming together of my Rubber Doll outfit, here’s a short video of my transformation.

Outfit:

Big Boob Catsuit, Fantastic Rubber
Corset Belt, Libidex
Hood, Polymorphe Latex
Adore-1020, Pleaser Heels

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The Studio

Categories:

Gear, Images, Kink DIY, Personal

March 7, 2020

It is almost a year to the day, as I write this, that we moved into a new home. With that came the opportunity to build a bigger playroom and go for a lighter, airier space rather than the previous industrial grunge (not that there was anything wrong with that).

Having learnt a bit more about our styles of play, and how the impacts to my health had changed things, prodded us into creating a space with five recessed overhead hard points for flexibility in rope bondage, as well as a focus on two pieces of furniture: a bondage chair and a retractable table.

I’m really happy with the results.

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Transformation

Categories:

Boys, breathcontrol, dolly, Girls, Images, Machines, Personal, rubber, video

February 1, 2020

Last year I had the pleasure of a session with Miss Velour which explored a side of me I’d been curious about, which was transformation into a rubber doll.

It was very enjoyable watching myself get slowly layered in rubber suit, skirt, tits, and corset. The only thing that was a bit of a mind trip but not overly horny was the latex face, but hey, try things once right?

It’s inspired me to get my own rubber doll outfit, but you’ll have to wait a bit for that ensemble to be finished. I’m really looking forward to showing it off.

As part of the same session, I had some fantastic breath play and milking at the hands of an exceptionally skilled Mistress, so whilst my rubber doll persona above might not be to your taste, hopefully the video below might be ^_^

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Inflammatory Bowel Disease, Colorectal Surgery, And Gay Kink

Categories:

Personal

December 31, 2018

A slight break from your regular scheduled programming to bring you something that hopefully won’t affect you, but if it does, you’ll find a woeful lack of information about. But first: I am not a medical doctor, however I have lived with Crohn’s Disease for the best part of 25 years – obviously my experiences are n=1 and therefore may differ from yours, but I hope my perspective is helpful.

Introduction
Diseases of the bowel are unpleasant and difficult to talk about at the best of times, let alone when combined with living as an active gay man. Most medical professionals (at least in my more recent experiences) have been understanding and accommodating but it often feels like having to come out all over again: “this is my husband” when sat in a consultation room or ward together, for example [1]. Bowel diseases can lead to lethargy, complex diets, and urgent trips to the toilet, all of which can really interfere with an active social life. In the same way, being “ano-receptive” in the dry medical terminology (you enjoy getting fucked in the ass) can be a bit of a non-starter – bowel disease also evolves over time and I’ve personally found the shift from being a bottom to a top mentally difficult to adjust to.

Inflammatory Bowel Disease
IBD affects somewhere around 0.5% of the population in Westernised countries. There was a marked increase in the diseases in the 1990s, however this has stabilised in recent years. There are various forms of IBD but the most common are Crohn’s Disease and Ulcerative Colitis. Crohn’s can affect the gut from top to tail and is characterised by small patches of active disease (inflammation) interspersed with healthy bowel. Ulcerative Colitis (UC) predominantly affects the colon and anus, with disease affecting all parts of the bowel. Symptoms of IBD include diarrhoea, bleeding, cramping pain and fatigue. Medical treatment of IBD includes steroids (and sadly not the muscle-building kind), immuno-modulatory drugs, and newer “biologics” like Humira.
So far, nothing a quick google search wouldn’t tell you, but what about the impact on your sex life? Well, obviously being continuously tired or needing to dash to the toilet with little notice can rather affect ass play or a heavy bondage scene. Most IBD sufferers will be aware of their own symptoms and can usually predict whether today is going to be a good day for adventurous situations or not, but explaining this to someone you’ve arranged a meet with can be more tricky. So, tops, if someone tells you they have IBD, don’t automatically assume they’re a flake if they pull out at the last minute.
More practically, receptive anal sex (getting fucked) can be uncomfortable if you have IBD. Whilst social pressure can be strong, listen to your own body and what you can and can’t do. It’s worth discussing with your doctor, although they’re likely to be risk adverse. Obviously, if you have inflammation and ulceration in your ass, this is going to make getting fucked painful. There is some evidence to suggest that Crohn’s Disease sufferers have a less elastic bowel wall which can make things uncomfortable. Active inflammation can also make the bowel wall more permeable to infection so it’s important to practice safe sex [2].

Colorectal Surgery
Around 80% of IBD sufferers will require surgery at some point in their lives, of varying degrees. Some will require a permanent stoma formation where the bowel is diverted into an external bag. For many IBD sufferers this can give them their life back, but it’s worth considering its impact on your sex life – doctors may well you “it will have no impact” without realising this may not necessarily be true for a gay fetishist. What will be the impact on you wearing tight latex, or getting fucked (some stoma formations result in you losing your anus)? I can’t give you a great answer here, but these are things to ask and discuss with your partners and doctors.
Fissures and fistulas can affect the whole population (prevalence is about 0.01%), but having IBD greatly increases the chances of one. A fissure is a tear in the lining of the anus which causes pain and bleeding when using the toilet, or obviously, when indulging in ass play. There are various medical and surgical treatments for fissures, but it’s probably best not to have anal sex until you’re healed.
A fistula is a tunnel from the inside of the anus. This can become infected which leads to an abscess, an intensely painful experience. Fistulae rarely resolve themselves and surgery is generally required, which can involve “laying open” of the tract, itself a not overly comfortable healing process. Depending on where the fistula was, this could involve cutting through sphincter muscle and may lead to some loss of continence [3].
My personal experience suggests that ass play is going to be off limits if you have any kind of fissure or fistula surgery, and you have complications such as IBD.

Conclusions
Many doctors will not automatically provide help and information to gay men about sex and relationships that are impacted by IBD and colorectal surgery. You, as a patient, will need to come out all over again, but in my experience, once you’ve done this, you’re likely to receive a sympathetic and understanding response.
Colorectal surgery can have serious impacts on life as a gay man. As well as time for physical healing, addressing mental health challenges and giving time for relationships to adjust is important.
Members of the gay fetish scene should be aware of IBD and how this can affect societal pressures.

References

https://www.magonlinelibrary.com/doi/abs/10.12968/gasn.2014.12.6.19
https://academic.oup.com/ibdjournal/article-abstract/23/8/1285/4560709?redirectedFrom=fulltext
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5231615/

If you have any comments or experiences to add (either as a patient or healthcare provider) please add them below or email me via loki at this domain.

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