Part 2 was going to include both a write up of safety aspects and some basic ropework, however I found that there was more than enough ground to cover from the safety side and that it probably warrants a post all of its own.
Environment
As well as being in the mood, it’s important to be comfortable when playing, so consider:
- Room temperature: a barely clothed submissive restrained in one position for an extended period can get cold, so bump up the heating a notch or have blankets to hand. The converse can be true in summer or if you have a plaything clad head-to-toe in latex.
- Lighting: avoid candles as they can get knocked over by rope ends whipping around. Use “LED tealights” or similar for atmospheric lighting. If you live out in the sticks and are prone to power outages have a flashlight to hand, but you probably do this already.
- Hydration: tying and being tied is thirsty work, so have water on hand in either a bottle with a sports cap or a glass with a straw; it’s not always easy for the submissive to sit up and drink. Be aware of how long it would take to unpick your rope in case of the need for bathroom breaks.
- Have a clear head: avoid intoxicating drugs, including alcohol.
Potential for harm
- Know your submissive: do they have any medical conditions or injuries that you need to be aware of? Do they wear contacts? It might be useful to use a tool such as RACK or Jay Wiseman’s checklist to discover any potential issues. It goes without saying that you have explicit consent to tie someone up.
- Physiology: rope bondage is designed to be constricting and can press on both blood vessels and nerves. Be particularly aware of tying directly over joints (instead tie either side) and places where nerve bundles run close to the surface such as the brachial plexus (clavicle / armpit) and the median nerve (bicep / tricep). You should always avoid tying around the front of the neck where a rope could constrict arteries and the trachea, in fact, I’d go further and suggest you skip the neck area entirely.
As the dominant person it is your responsibility to look after the well-being of your submissive, so regularly check the temperature and colour of the submissive’s extremities. Cold, white fingers are an indication of impaired circulation and you should immediately loosen and check your ropework.
You will not be able to tell by sight and touch whether you are causing any nerve damage. Check in with your sub from time-to-time and get them to tell you if they have any numbness or tingling, especially in fingers. Which brings us onto… - Communication: agree on a safe word – e.g. “banana” – something that you are unlikely to say in the normal throws of passion – that will immediately bring a scene to a halt. An alternative system is the traffic-light method (green=more of that please, amber=not so great, stop doing that and do something else, red=we’re stopping everything right now). If your submissive is gagged and unable to speak or you feel that verbal communication could interfere with a scene use hand squeezes (one squeeze=good, two=bad or similar) or give the sub something to hold that they drop at the sign of trouble.
On a related note, it’s important to have a post session discussion about what went well, what didn’t – nothing too heavy, but be honest. Don’t expect everything to go perfectly the first time you try it! - If things start to go wrong: don’t freak, don’t panic, be cool and slowly unpick your rope. If you need to untie fast make sure you have a pair of safety scissors / EMT shears to hand. It’s much better to throw away a bit of rope then have a damaged sub.
